The Fairytale of Big Butts

I remember being in the 10th grade (2008) when I was in the elevator on a casual grocery errand with my mother and she told me to cover my ass with a longer shirt that already reached my knees, she thought my ass was obnoxiously fat and she reacted like it was perverse and wrong.. It drew unnecessary attention and she was embarrassed for me. It was forbidden, taboo even. To have a fetish for a big ass. Thick thighs meant you're 'aunty' and the modelesque thin standard of beauty suffocated unfortunate girls with my body type. We weren't 'attractive' by miles.

Getting on the Kardashian train

And then... The 'Kardashians' happened later in 2008 and by 2013, trends in the US started to affect India. I was grateful for the Kardashians- Jenners. The original perpetrators of the "Mmmmm, dat ass" and "dat ass tho" sex tape and pictures. Like Fairy Godmothers they christened the big ass girls like myself and suddenly they pumped our beauty stock to the moon. People started liking big butts, and they didn't even have to lie. They started having their own category of sex toys, even. There was a surge in butt implant surgeries. But what was everyone doing with their butts?

Dat ass tho

Only now are we as a society coming to accept butt stuff. And with that in mind, I'm putting my ass on the line for your entertainment. I flirted with the idea of being one of the Instababes who have "real, giant squat asses" as opposed to artificially enlarged derrieres but I was always some sort of a prude. I finally said it, "It's summer baby, heaven's in your eyes".

Squats and lunges : 300 reps total

Consequently, social media subversively encourages everyone to be narcissistic to a degree as their deformation of the “marketplace” strongly suggests that maximally showing off your assets has bigger rewards than ever.

The normalization of taboo tendencies by Instagram have prioritized the vices once kept in check by stigma and ostracization, leading to the current decay of so-called 'decency'. It doesn’t take a scientist to deduce why social media usage has led to higher levels of anxiety and other psychological disorders never seen before like body dysmorphia, but scientists already have done the work to prove this bit of common sense. They did not spare Donald Trump's ass either, it was a sensational meme:

I mean...

The “attention whore” is not a new type of human being, but social media and its widespread use have elevated her from the cesspool of society to the limelight, culturally redefining “success as a woman”, exploiting humans’ innate weaknesses by encouraging consumerism, narcissism and lust.

Being a huge follower of Joe Rogan his remarks on Instagram Models and when he said who comes up with these ideas, made me laugh and come up with a few:

1. Butt at the beach

2. Butt at a random street

3. Butt in the classy bathroom

4. Butt at a cafe

5. Butt and the sky (low angle photography)

6. Butt in the market place

7. Butt at home

8. Butt at the GYM!

9. Butt at the club

10. Butt in all kinds of clothes anywhere

That's enough to blow up a handle to a few thousand followers. If you want captions too to go along with the pictures, you'd have to pay me. It is a lot of work you see.